


The Measure of the Year

by HiddenTreasures



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Pregnancy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6450631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTreasures/pseuds/HiddenTreasures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After watching the Doctor interact with a lost little boy, Rose starts to wonder about having children of their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Measure of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for TimePetalsPrompts weekly ficlet prompt "spring is in the air".
> 
> This is kind of all over the map, as far as emotions go. It’s all about the Doctor and Rose trying to get pregnant, so there are talks of babies and family and pregnancy, and themes of infertility, and everything else that goes with a "trying to get pregnant" fic.

Winters were much more brutal in the parallel universe than they were in Rose’s old London. Torchwood’s climatologists claimed that the weakening of the walls between universes had mucked up the weather, resulting in hotter summers and colder winters, and brighter, more vivacious springs and autumns. Winter had been cold and dreary and never-ending, until finally April rolled around, promising sunshine and warmth.

Seemingly overnight, the world exploded with color. Reds and yellows and pinks and oranges dotted the ground as the grass began turning green again. The mood of the city increased exponentially, and Rose was glad to finally be able to leave the house for more than the few seconds’ walk it took to get to her car or back indoors and out of the bitter cold.

“Let’s go for a walk,” she suggested one Sunday morning, knowing the Doctor would be more than amenable. He’d been getting more and more restless throughout the tail end of winter, reminding Rose of a puppy that had been cooped up for far too long.

It really was a gorgeous day. The sun was bright and though the air was still a bit chilly, the direct sunlight made it refreshing rather than biting. They took a stroll through the local park, and it seemed as though everyone had the same idea: families and couples and people with their dogs were running through the park. It seemed as though everyone was enjoying the first nice day of the season.

Well, mostly everyone.

A shrill cry pierced the air, and while most people went about their business normally, the Doctor quickly released Rose’s hand and followed the source of the noise. She ran after him until they were on the outskirts of the park and away from most of the park’s visitors. It was there that they found a little boy of maybe four sobbing underneath a tree. When they got near enough, they realized he was calling out for his Mummy.

“Hello,” the Doctor said softly, smiling brightly at the child as he knelt down. The boy hiccupped as he tried to catch his breath and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. “My name’s the Doctor. And this is Rose. What’s your name?”

He looked at them carefully for a moment before he managed to choke out, “Geoffrey.”

“Hello, Geoffrey,” the Doctor sad. “That’s a lovely name. Much better than _the Doctor_ , eh?”

The Doctor smiled triumphantly when the boy giggled.

“Right, now. I believe you’re looking for your Mummy, is that right?”

The boy nodded his head helplessly as he sniffled miserably.

“Well, Geoffrey, I happen to be this universe’s expert on finding lost Mummies,” he said conspiratorially, and Rose watched in amazement as the little boy’s face brightened. “Let’s say you and I try and find her together? How’s that sound?”

Geoffrey studied him for a quick moment before nodding and walking towards the Doctor. Rose was surprised when the Doctor bent down to pick the boy up. The picture of him with a small child perched on his hip did funny things to her insides and made her heart pound a little too heavily in her chest.

“Where did you last see your Mummy?”

Geoffrey’s eyes began to water again as he whimpered, “I don’t remember.”

“Hey now, don’t cry,” the Doctor soothed, taking a hanky from his pocket and dabbing at the child’s face. “We’ll find her. I’m sure she’s looking for you, too.”

The Doctor began walking back towards the center of the park, hoping to find a frantic woman and hoping that Geoffrey’s mother even noticed and cared that he was missing.

“Let’s try by the loo,” Rose suggested. The Doctor looked down at her in confusion. “D’you know how many times I ran off by myself when Mum went to the loo?”

“Of course you did,” the Doctor said affectionately. “Jeopardy-friendly, you are.”

Turns out, Rose was right. They just saw the plain brick building of the park’s restrooms when a harried woman carrying a toddler on her hip burst out of the loo.

“Geoffrey? Oh, God, Geoffrey!”

The child in question patted the Doctor’s shoulder and said excitedly, “It’s Mummy!”

The Doctor set Geoffrey on the ground and watched as he sprinted towards his mother.

“Mummy!” he shouted.

They watched the woman crouch down and open up the arm that wasn’t holding her other baby to catch Geoffrey into a big hug. The woman held him close and buried her face into her child’s neck.

The Doctor smiled softly at this happy family reunion, and he snapped off a lazy salute to the woman when she met his eyes and mouthed a watery _thank you_.

He took Rose’s hand once more and turned around to leave the park. It was nearly lunchtime and he was starved.

“How do chips sound?” he asked, swinging their linked hands lightly between them. “We can eat outside again! Isn’t that brilliant?”

Rose mumbled something that sounded like an assent, but the Doctor could see she was a million miles away. He wanted to know what had her so distracted, but he knew she would tell him when she was ready, and so he filled the silence with random talks of the impending spring, and how he much preferred the weather of this universe over their other one, and anything else that popped into his head.

He ordered their chips for them and secured them a table outside beneath a flowering tree. Rose was still quiet and pensive, and it was now making the Doctor nervous. Just as he was about to ask her what was wrong, she said, “How did you know that boy needed help?”

She, like everyone else in the park, had written off the boy’s cries as simply a child throwing a tantrum. But not the Doctor.

The Doctor studied her eyes for a moment before he popped another chip into his mouth and said, “Just sounded like it, is all.”

Rose pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow.

He sighed and said, “Kids cry for all sorts of reasons, and depending what’s wrong, they sound different. That wasn’t the sound of an angry or frustrated child, but it was the sound of a terrified one.”

Rose tried to think back to the noises Geoffrey had made. A crying kid was a crying kid, and Rose never would have been able to pick out the difference.

The Doctor squirmed slightly as Rose continued to stare at him thoughtfully.

“What?” he asked nervously.

“You were really good with him,” she commented carefully.

“I was a dad once,” he reminded her gently.

Rose nodded contemplatively for a moment.

“Would you want to be one again?”

The Doctor’s eyes bugged and the chip that was half way to his mouth fell from his fingers and into his lap. He blinked rapidly in quick succession before he realized he was getting grease and vinegar on his trousers. He mumbled a curse under his breath and grabbed for the stack of napkins, wiping furiously at the stain.

Rose watching him, partly amused and partly anxious. He never talked about his family with her, aside from passing comments, and Rose never pushed him about it. She wondered now if she had gone too far. Losing a family, losing a _child_ , must have been devastating for him, and here she was asking if he wanted to open himself up to that again.

“What about you?”

Now it was Rose’s turn to be surprised.

“What about me what?” she asked, feigning cluelessness.

“Children,” he said. “Do you want them?”

Rose inhaled deeply, held it for a moment, before letting it out noisily.

“I dunno,” she said honestly. She’d never really thought of herself as a Mum before. She was quite content with her life here with the Doctor, and it didn’t feel like her life was lacking in any way. Though they had been together for over two years now, there were still some days when she was amazed that he was with her and she was with him.

But seeing him with Geoffrey had made her imagination concoct visions of the Doctor holding a dark-haired baby, or walking with a blonde-haired girl on his shoulders, or cuddling with a brown-haired boy on the sofa as they all watched a film. Thinking of him holding their child made her heart ache in a way it never had before.

“What do you want?” Rose finally managed to ask. If he was against the idea of starting a family, she wouldn’t hold it against him whatsoever. But if he wasn’t…

“I don’t know,” he said defensively. “What do you want?”

Rose burst into giggles, and the Doctor couldn’t help but smile, too.

“I honestly haven’t thought about it,” Rose said, “until today. You were just so brilliant with Geoffrey, and it made me think, is all.”

The Doctor nodded slowly.

“I love my life here with you,” the Doctor said quietly. “I really do. And if it was only ever the two of us, that would be perfectly fine with me. I love you, and you’re everything I ever wanted. But having a child with you…”

His eyes softened and there was a subtle longing there that Rose could feel echoed in her heart.

“Well, that would be brilliant,” he whispered.

Rose nodded thoughtfully before she popped a cold chip into her mouth. She chewed carefully, needing a moment to organize her thoughts, before she finally said, “How about we take a bit more time to really think about it. And if we both decide it’s what we want, we can start trying. That okay?

“Oh, yes. More than,” the Doctor agreed, reaching over to twine his fingers with hers as they finished their meal in a comfortable silence.

It was only a short while later, when the flowers were beginning to wilt and the trees had fully gained their leaves, that Rose and the Doctor decided that rather than try for a baby, they would stop actively preventing one.

“Let’s just see what happens,” the Doctor had said.

And that was it. Rose stopped taking birth control and they stopped buying condoms, but otherwise their lives went about as normal. They went to work and took long weekends to go travelling and had Sunday tea with Rose’s family and, of course, they shagged whenever they had the chance.

Spring turned to summer which morphed into autumn. All of the once-green leaves turned yellow and crunchy, and the muggy heat cooled to crisp autumn nights. Everything was bare and brown once more, and they still weren’t pregnant.

“No worries, Rose Tyler!” the Doctor enthused as Rose grumbled about being on her period. “It’ll happen when it happens!”

The refreshing air of autumn turned into the bitter cold of winter. The Doctor remained positive and enthusiastic.

“Cold nights just mean we’ll have to find other ways to keep warm.”

The waggling eyebrows always did Rose in, and they passed this winter in the same fashion as the last, but this time there was a sense of urgency and purpose to ever shag and an underlying frustration that neither of them mentioned.

The snow finally melted and the flowers bloomed once more, but this year didn’t seem as bright or vibrant or hopeful as it had been last year. They were now no longer just “waiting to see what happened”, but rather there had been a subtle and unmentioned shift until they were both trying desperately to conceive. Rose made sure to shag more often and more vigorously during those few precious days when she was fertile. The Doctor held her that much closer and that much tighter when he made love to her, as though he could will his sperm to meet with her egg if he just thrust deeply enough.

“What if we can’t?” Rose asked quietly one night, curled on the sofa with a heating pad, somberly going through that month’s reminder that they still weren’t pregnant. What if she was defective? What if her jumps through the Void had somehow ruined her reproductive system and she was the one keeping him from having a proper family?

“It hasn’t even been a year yet. Just give it time, love,” he said softly, but inside he ached at the longing in her voice. What if he was defective? What if the metacrisis had left him with genetics that weren’t quite human enough to be compatible with hers and he was the one keeping her from having a proper family?

Later that week, he ran tests on his sperm, and by all accounts, he should be able to get her pregnant. He had hoped the would make Rose feel more hopeful, but he didn’t account for her penchant for taking on guilt that she was unwarranted. (And he hated that she even picked up that trait from him.) She cried for hours the night he told showed her his results.

“So it is me, then!” she sobbed, trying to curl away from him as he tried to comfort her. “I’m bloody broken.”

He managed to calm her enough and told her he could test her, too, if she wanted. He found that she was absolutely fine; they were both a fertile as any other healthy human being. So why did it seem like they weren’t?

Summer brought with it the wettest season on record. It seemed as though the sun was permanently hidden behind thick grey clouds, and the weather did nothing to improve their moods.

“How in the bloody flipping hell do people get knocked up accidentally?” Rose fumed one day as she threw the negative pregnancy test into the garbage. “I mean, my own Mum got pregnant by accident! _Twice_!”

The Doctor was just as frustrated as she was, and it killed him to see her like this. He wrapped her in his arms and pressed his lips to her hair and tried not to let her know how disappointed he was too.

“What if I can’t get pregnant?” she finally asked fearfully. “I wasn’t thinking about the future when I went through all of those Cannon jumps. What if I’m the one mucking this all up?”

“Stop it,” the Doctor said sharply. “I’ve tested us both, and we’re both compatible. It’s just…taking longer than expected.”

“Yeah, it bloody well looks like we’re compatible!” she seethed, before the fight suddenly left her, and she slumped into his arms. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know I wanted this, but now that I can’t have it, it’s making me want it all the more. I want so much to have a baby with you. I want to feel it growing inside of me, and I want you to have a family again and…”

Her voice choked off and the Doctor held her tightly. He wanted all of that too, but he hated seeing Rose so distressed. Nothing was worth that.

“Rose, love, I’ve already got a family,” he said gently. “I’ve got you, and I’ve got Jackie and Pete and Tony. That’s more than I could ever have asked for, and it’s enough for me. So please don’t blame yourself and please don’t be upset. I love you so much, and if we can’t have a baby, that’s fine. We’ll figure something else out. You are all I ever wanted out of this life. Anything else is extra.”

Rose sniffled and held him tightly, letting him soothe her and letting his words sink in. She exhaled shakily as she realized he was right.

“I love you,” she murmured into his chest.

“And I love you,” he whispered.

They took an extended leave from Torchwood just as autumn struck. They traveled anywhere and everywhere, taking time to just be with each other without the stress of work or family or failed pregnancy attempts. They relished in each other’s company, and the Doctor was overjoyed to see the spark return to her eyes.

They toured the United States during the wintertime, and Rose was delighted that one country could have such drastically different winters depending where they were.

They visited the colder climates first. They taught themselves how to ski and Rose helped the Doctor find his balance when they went ice skating (though she knew he was feigning incoordination as an excuse to have her arm around his waist). They made snow angels and built snowmen and snow forts and they had snowball fights with each other and with local kids that joined in their fun. When they grew tired of the cold, they headed south and visited the Grand Canyon and the beaches in southern California.

Spring bloomed once more, and the Doctor and Rose watched it peak in Japan. Rose delighted in the flowering trees and the cherry blossoms and she threw her arms around him in thanks and gratefulness. She really was the luckiest woman in the universe.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. “I love you.”

The Doctor made love to her under the stars and beneath a cherry blossom tree the night before they were due to leave the city. Rose had looked so beautiful with the night sky and pink flowers set as the backdrop against her nude form. He really was the luckiest man in the universe. He held her tight as he came deep inside her and he choked out her name on a sob, feeling his one human heart fit to bursting with the love he felt for her.

They returned home just as summer crested, and Jackie was relieved to see Rose and the Doctor looking rejuvenated and alive once more. She knew how heartbroken they both had been these last couple of years as they had tried and failed month after month to get pregnant. The stress wasn’t good for them, and she had grown exceedingly concerned. She’d been happy when Rose told her that she and the Doctor were going away for awhile. The time away had done them good, and they looked happier and healthier than they had in months.

Summer lasted for as long as it could, and though it was mid-September, their flat was boiling and the air was muggy. To make matters worse, Rose was sick as a dog. Her muscles ached and her mouth felt like something had died in it as she curled up in bed and tried to get over what she was sure was an early flu.

But the weeks passed and she still didn’t get better. Just when she thought the sickness had left her body, she was struck again by nausea and fatigue. Neither of them wanted to get their hopes up, but when Rose missed her period two months in a row, Rose relented and went to the chemists.

“What if it’s just another negative?” Rose asked worriedly, her old fears and frustration arising as she sat on the cool tile floor of their bathroom. The Doctor wriggled his way beside her and he looped an arm around her shoulders while taking her hand in his.

“Then we’ll deal with it together,” he said, pressing his lips to her hair.

The following spring bloomed early and bright, and it was as if the world had once more exploded with color overnight. But the Doctor was too preoccupied to notice the flowers and the trees and the birds. All of London was out and about, enjoying the first spell of warm weather, but the Doctor couldn’t have cared less. He was lying on a lumpy hospital bed, curled up around Rose, who was cradling their newborn to her chest. Both were fast and peacefully asleep.

“I love you,” he whispered raggedly. All of the pain and tears and frustration of the past couple of years had finally culminated into this, and he couldn’t have been happier. He pressed his lips to Rose’s forehead and then to his daughter’s. “I love you both so much.”

He spared one quick glance to the view outside, to the lush green grass and the clear blue sky, before turning away and looking down at his two most favorite people in the entire universe, thinking that nothing could ever be more beautiful than them.


End file.
